Allow me to introduce Harbie, short for Harbinger of Evil. He's going on the road trip with us.
Obviously.
Clearly, I am 'too adorable' to associate with demons. |
Ang sent me that picture, along with with the following explanation:
Omg. This was in my car. I don't even understand how or where or what the fuck. I yelped. wtf. It's a mummified fucking frog. wtf. omg. HOW. Not even in the back and under shit, but near my pedals where I keep things clean. WTF. No way a frog managed to die and dry up under my feet without me squishing it. Plus I cleaned the whole car a few days ago. Plus there's no way it could have accidentally fallen inside given how tall the car is. My second or third thought really was, 'Hey, isn't the wrath of God signified by falling frogs?'
I suggested casting Harbie in resin, but Ang got all indignant because 'HE WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE!' |
[UPDATE from Ang: Before you start thinking I'm that much of a slob, I had just cleaned out my car several days previous. The doors were off, but the hard top was on, so it didn't just fall straight out of a tree. And the Jeep's too tall for the frog to have accidentally jumped into while it was alive, not to mention how wet the inside of my car gets and how it would have remain unsquished for so long. We figure the only possible explanation is that the frog died up in the tree at some point, and as it was falling to the ground, a magical gust of wind blew his little mummified body through the door frame, somehow avoiding the bushes less than a foot away on that side.]
There's also a story behind why we think keeping evil things in the car is
Except instead of absorbing all the negative vibes and mechanical failures and bad juju, he seemed to cause them. Probably because he felt unloved and ignored. Even when Boris's arms and legs started to break off, she kept the all the bits and pieces in the ashtray in an effort to appease him. Obviously, it didn't work out. (See: "former" Jeep) By the time she realized he was clearly outraged at the state of things, she was too scared of demonic retribution to throw him away. (Ang: I WAS SCARED FOR MY SOUL)
We set him on fire at the witching hour. To our horror, Matt came in right before Boris was about to disintegrate and accidentally knocked him out of the fire. Then he made fun of us for screaming and trying to gather up the still-glowing pieces. (DICK.) We burnt what we could find, but we know there was a piece or two missing, so we're pretty sure that the tiny little demon bits left in a fire pit in Wareham are causing natural disasters and definitely maybe the Apocalypse. (Sorry, Japan.)
Ang has since moved.
Anyway, Harbie is going with us in a little plastic box.
You know, for good luck.
You know, for good luck.
Hmmm . . . Dead fish perhaps, falling brimstone would definitely signify you have a problem. Living frogs are sent more to harass bad kings. They can however be a totem for fertility.
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